And (w)here's the other one

I love you too. Now, go jump on your dad.

in my wildest dreams

on September 6, 2012

People have told me all about pregnancy dreams and how crazy they are. Trust that since having become pregnant I have definitely experienced some strange ones. This was actually something I was looking forward to. Now this may sound weird, but I love dreaming. I have the most fully detailed and intricate dreams, and more often than not, they are lucid. I know I’m dreaming the whole time, which allows me to manipulate my dreams and make things happen the way I want them to. It’s great. If I’m ever in a situation that I don’t like, I either change it, or just tell myself to wake up, and it’s over. Just like that. I’ve had this “ability” pretty much my whole life. I remember my mother having suffered from nightmares when I was a child, and her trying to use positive affirmations to prevent them from continuing. I didn’t really understand what that meant, but I remember copying her and telling myself that “my dreams are only good,” and other things like that before I went to sleep at night. I did this without anyone knowing, but I guess it worked, because since being a very small child, I have experienced some very interesting dreams.

However, these pregnancy dreams have been something different all together. I have no clue I’m dreaming, and on numerous occasions, I have even said things along the lines of “I wish this was a dream,” believing 100% that I was living in complete reality at the time despite my living in a castle with a wooly mammoth or experiencing a myriad of other off the wall events. These dreams, still maintaining the same level of detail as my earlier one, are just way more erratic and the lighting is darker and things happen that make no sense at all. Apparently, they are more like normal dreams, and I don’t like it. I wake up, and I’m a little unsettled because it is a completely different thing to me to have to reassess my surroundings after a dream. It doesn’t take long, but its annoying. My dreams have been tampered with, and Leonardo Di Caprio is nowhere to be found.

So, I’m having twins. And though it took a little getting use to, both Drew and I have come to terms with just how quickly our family is growing. However, my subconscious seems to be trying to convince methat I’m not just having twins, but rather triplets… all boys… Now, despite a certain level of paranoia that I have regarding this actually happening, I’m pretty sure it isn’t going to. For one, after the doctor pointed out the second baby on the ultrasound, I insisted that he make sure there wasn’t a third one hiding somewhere. I also told him that if he were to find another one, he was keeping it… So who knows? He may have just stayed mum. The interesting things is, I have had several dreams over the last couple of weeks that I am either pregnant with, or have already given birth to, three bouncing baby boys.

In one dream, I’m at the hospital, trying to get a hold of my dad who is on some sort of secret mission in the middle of the ocean, where he is a legit badass, hunting down international criminals all 007 like. He was stationed at some underwater military base, and all I could do was leave messages for him to call me. I finally got to talk to him, and told him that the babies were gonna be born that day. He, very simply, told me “no.” He said he couldn’t get away, and he wanted to be there for the birth. I told him we really didn’t have a choice, and today was the day: like it or not. He was never able to make it, but eventually the babies were born (or rather delivered via UPS or something, because I never actually went through labor or gave birth), and they were beautiful. It was very strange. I knew them completely (all three of them), and they knew me. There was a very real bond between us. It was something that I could really feel, even though it was just a dream. It was very tangible.

In another dream, Andrew and I were at the doctor’s office getting another ultrasound and were gonna find out the sex of the babies. The doctor asked us if we were ready to know, and we confirmed. We were terribly excited and held tight to each other’s hands. The doctor then told us that it was a boy. I smiled and asked, “Both?” He then said, “All three.” I nearly fainted. Drew just went limp. I woke up in the morning with a vague remembrance of the dream and just sighed.

This whole triplets business hasn’t ended with me. When I called to tell my aunt about it being twins, she immediately said triplets. I have a coworker that’s had similar dreams to mine about triple boys (minus all the action movie sequences involving my dad). When she told me about her dream, my first inclination was to slap her in the mouth. Luckily, I refrained, because that would have been a lot of paperwork. Andrew’s mother has pointed out on our ultrasound where there could possibly be a third one hiding. So now, what once just looked like a small, nondescript shadow blob (like most everything else in one of those things: let’s be real), now resembles a possible third fetus. Playfully (I hope), she continues to talk about the possibility of triplets (even despite my never having told her about my dreams, which freaks me out even more). Whenever she mentions triplets (and even in one case, quadruplets!!), I insist she bite her tongue, and ask why should would even joke about that. Drew’s sister told her that if we did end up having triplets, that the only reasonable living situation would be for us (ALL) to move in with them (Drew’s parents). I followed that up with the fact that the only way we would be able to afford it would be for all of us to star in our our reality TV show.

I’m sure that all expectant mothers of twins, or even singles, have dreams that they are pregnant with more babies than what the doctors have said. So, I’m sure that this is absolutely normal. What gets me, is the fact that all my dreams have been about having boys: without fail, all boys. A friend of mine attributes this to meaning I’m just going to have two boys, and my body it picking up on that. Or two girls because they’re just thinking about boys… So, really he doesn’t have any idea. Interestingly enough, these dreams started around the time that the babies would be developing either gonads or ovaries or whatnot, so there could (at least in my mind) be some correlation between my dreams and their sex. Or maybe I’m pregnant with a future secret agent. Or maybe, based on that same reasoning, a wooly mammoth. I just hope that these dreams aren’t foreshadowing a future where I should be giving birth in a box under the stair rather than in a hospital.

But, regardless of twins or triplets or whatever… I won’t have to worry about the meaning of my dreams for much longer, because pretty soon, I’m never gonna sleep again.

Expectantly,

Jeni

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